in the trenches

13:23 Waiting to hear if

nobody@vox.com(Autumn Snow) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 21:03:18 -0800

13:23 Waiting to hear if my offer on the car gets accepted... #
13:41 And...denied. The search goes on. #
15:04 Car's mine if I like it tomorrow! #

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11:04 The upstairs boys bathroom

nobody@vox.com(Autumn Snow) — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 21:06:08 -0800

11:04 The upstairs boys bathroom is now designated the new "Love Shack". #
17:29 Read the book "Th1rteen R3asons Why" by Jay Asher. Compelling book about a girl who commits suicide & leaves tapes telling her story. #

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06:04 Saw the most beautiful

nobody@vox.com(Autumn Snow) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 21:04:03 -0800

06:04 Saw the most beautiful picture book illustrated to Frost's "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening". Made my day! #
16:35 Dropping food for the ants. Then going to check out possible new cars! AND my cousin got accepted to Flagler! AND my bro got engaged! YAY! #

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07:36 The days I can

nobody@vox.com(Autumn Snow) — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 21:04:06 -0800

07:36 The days I can sleep in, I never do. The days I can't sleep in, I can never wake up. #
16:17 Yay, Colts!!! Thank u, Kris Brown!! #

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11:39 Still need to complete

nobody@vox.com(Autumn Snow) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 21:03:38 -0800

11:39 Still need to complete my Halloween costume, and find it amusing to say that in November. #
23:14 Watching Amy after the plane crash ;-) #

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Vaccination Debate

nobody@vox.com(Autumn Snow) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 19:03:35 -0700

Swine flu

I have been reading, at length, about the furor over the 2009 H1N1 Swine Flu vaccinations. It goes against my usual grain, as I generally stay away from reading about anything very controversial - something about not liking conflict - but this has really drawn me.

I am certainly not against ALL vaccinations. I mean, believe me that most of us are grateful for Jonas Saulk's polio vaccine. But this particular article made me pretty steamed because it endorses blatant propoganda and moralistic bull: Is Swine Flu Vaccine Refusal Unethical? This article covers the controversy over whether or not people should be coerced or feel morally obligated to be vaccinated, and how millions of Americans are concerned over the safety of the vaccine.

I am of the mind that I should have a say over what goes into my body. There are some things I can't control - for instance what fertilizers and pest control growers use on produce or what antibiotics and hormones cattle and poultry have been given or even that my plastic wrap becomes cancerous when heated in the microwave. But the things that I can control I want to know more about. We keep hearing about drugs rushed onto the market and then soon after being removed for safety reasons.

And not just once, either.

I understand that many in government are eager for a vaccination because flu season is here and H1N1 is becoming more prevalent, but I also understand how good drug testing is done, and there is no way there has been enough time for that process to have completely or satisfactorily taken place. In the 1975-76 swine flu outbreak, there were over 500 cases of Guillian-Barre Syndrome associated with the government-endorsed vaccines, and they ended up cutting the program short because of it (see LA Times 4/2009: "Swine flu 'debacle' of 1976 is recalled", which is a fantastic article all by itself).

I'm really just afraid of history repeating itself.

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Tennis, secret rooms, and Rev. Jesse Jackson

nobody@vox.com(Autumn Snow) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 18:47:33 -0700

The student, whose paper topic I detail in the title of this post, literally cracks me up on a daily basis. Two weeks ago, I was discussing satire with my ninth graders, and asked if anyone knew what it was, just as an intro. To which my lovely comedian of a student replies, in all seriousness, "Satire? Miss, isn't that one of those guys who's like, half goat, half man?"

I paused to gape.

Then replied myself, "No...that's a satyr."

He is now referred to as Satyr-boy. By his entire class. Luckily, he takes it all in stride.

But I keep coming across such gems as, "Miss I'm starving! I can't eat 'cause it's Yom Kippur, and I hate this way of getting rid of sins!"

"Raisins remind me of old people."

At least, when my job gets crappy (and I'm in a good spot, so I don't want to try my luck too much), I can always just come right down to my kids, and it improves immensely.

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Aww...

nobody@vox.com(Autumn Snow) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 16:27:14 -0700

8.	teacher	39 up, 27 down
	A government employee who actually cares about his/her job and is unable to collect unemployment benefits but doesn't care and does it anyway out of love for the work. An altruist, who actually likes kids and teenagers other than his/her own. Someone who cares more about helping others than himself/herself. Loathed by Republicans, hicks and inner city trash. Loved by people you would actually want living in your neighborhood. "Teacher, teacher" ... the crowd exclaimed when referring to Jesus Christ. From Urban Dictionary search on "teacher"

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Choice

nobody@vox.com(Autumn Snow) — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 12:33:46 -0700

Garden windows

I am having trouble revving up for the new school year, mostly thanks to the stirring presentation I attended last week with my principal. If he was a sports coach or a motivational speaker, EPIC FAIL. But I was stewing about how disappointed I am that I'm not excited, and realized I have been hearing a lot about choice lately. I could sit and blame him, blame the crappy school system I work for, blame SpringBoard, blame the parent who is emailing me for a meeting with the principal and her about a student I had last year first semester who doesn't like her kid's grade (nice of her to take so long to care), blame whatever, and it's not going to change anything.

My grandmother told me that the secret to a long, happy marriage isn't love by itself - that's the secret to getting married, but not staying that way - but choosing to love. She said that after awhile, or when you get angry, you have to remember that you chose, and you still choose to love that person, the same way you have to sometimes remember that you chose to love a family member whom you would like to strangle.

My father has always said, "Fake it 'til you make it!" I think this is Tony Robbins crap from his Lavallee's Karate days, but it ain't wrong. If you put on a happy face, act like it, the real feelings will inevitably follow. But you have the choice to act like a mopey dork or to at least slap on a pleasant expression.

So I am going to remember that my feelings are my own, but I do have a choice, especially in how I express them. I may not be revved up for the new school year, but that doesn't mean I have to cry about it

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The Death of Conversation

nobody@vox.com(Autumn Snow) — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 09:26:40 -0700

This is a topic that has occupied my mind for several years, and I am as guilty, maybe more, as everyone else. But when I read something I know I will probably disagree with, I try (really try) to hear those opinions and try to at least see where they are coming from. It's hard. Sometimes I literally have to force myself to keep going. Sometimes I have to swallow my own response. Sometimes I can't manage it, and walk away angry and fuming to myself for days. But I have noticed lately that fewer and fewer people choose to hear someone out, allow new information to change their mind, or even display an understanding of the concept that "not everything you believe is true." For instance, I can believe that my foot is green - but unless I dipped in in green paint or have a severe case of gangrene, it's probably not true, not matter how much I believe it.

It seems to me as though the trend looks like this: whatever plausible information one hears first, that's what one believes to be true, given one's feelings on the subject. I was reading book reviews on Amazon.com for Many Children Left Behind: How the No Child Left Behind Act is Damaging Our Children and Our Schools, and found one reviewer who believes it to be "brainwashing and propoganda" and that everyone should read Education Myths: What Special Interest Groups Want You to Believe About Our Schools - And Why it Isn't So instead. But it's the same thing from the other side. Go to the reviews for that book and you'll find other calling it "brainwashing and propoganda" as well. I am finding that once we have our inclinations one way or another on a subject, a complete paradigm change in required to shift that opinion.

Are we so obsessed with being right that we can't abide by admitting that we might be even just a little off base, or lacking in a little information? James Redfield in his book The Celestine Prophesy describes a conversation as the exchange of energy. In his story, the energy is visable, and you can see it in civil discourse as the combination of each individual's energy working together. However, when the conversation turns to one person insisting that another is wrong or that he is right, that person is stealing the other's energy. Now, I don't know about visible energy fields (as I can't see them, myself), but I know the feeling. When in conversation, I can feel it when I've "won" or "lost" a conversation. But I've just come to realize that if I've "won" the conversation, then it wasn't a conversation at all.

It was an argument.

Discourse comes from the equal exchange of ideas and equal consideration of the points on all sides to come to general conclusions - but that can't happen if everyone is right in their own mind. I see it in the town hall meetings about health care reform, where people are screaming from the audience. Those screamers aren't interested in getting answers from the speaker; they are only interested in getting their own point across. That is not discourse. We can't run a country that values individuals and compromise with the attitude that "I am right and you just need to listen to me."

So it seems we have two distinct issues that contribute to the same problem and they are two sides of the same coin: asertiveness of point and defense of point. In both cases, there is a "winner" and a "loser". Since I hate it when I lose and I feel guilty when I win (in this particular circumstance), I call for some withholding of pride and certainty of self. I call for some civil conversation. Actual conversation, rather than arguments. We can't all be right...so lets consider someone else's side.

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