I have always been the type of person to let other people take on activism.  I am really too lazy to bother with most things, and things that I might be interested in getting involved in seem like problems that are too big for me to have any effect on so again, I don't bother. 

But the ads for Gore's challenge Web site - wecansolveit.org - have caught my attention (yes, I know I am a slave to the boob tube and do everything it tells me to) and made me feel like I can have some kind of impact on the events that are happening around me.  I even invited some friends to join (*gasp!!*)! 

Highlights of Al Gore's Challenge

I have found that since I have been focusing outward a bit more that I have been happier.  It allows me to keep my focus off of myself and actually makes me procrastinate less.  It also puts me in line with people who have similar interests and who are enthusiastic and drag me along.  I would encourage everyone to check out this organization and  take one of the simple actions they suggest to help bring around a cleaner environment (one suggestion is simply slipping an insert into your electricity payment envelope).  But on the other hand, I don't care if you join the group that I just made up called "Global Warming is a Myth!" (if someone actually has a group called this and claims copyright, I sincerely apologize), join something.  The feeling of being a member of something really does bring about a wonderful sense of community. 

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Fearless

Diana Palmer

Genre: Contemporary Romance
Series: Long, Tall Texans (sorta)
Finished: 6/27/08

It never does get any simpler than a Palmer romance, and she has a formula that works VERY well for her.  I mean, she’s been using it since I think about 1890 (there is no typo here).  

Palmer is known for sweet and innocent virgins (one Amazon.com reviewer very amusingly called them “Diana’s Doormats”) and verbally abusive heros.  They’re always good men hiding from something and not wanting commitment so they take it out on the doormat who accepts him anyway.  Then he will do something unforgivable, she will run away and almost die, then he will find her, apologise, and they will marry, have children, and live happily ever after.  AND - you will probably get to read about them in the next book, too!  

So in this little gem (thank God for my Kindle - I would have hated to have shelled out $25 for this hardcover!), the doormat is Assistant D.A. Glory Barnes who is hiding out from a drug lord who has a hit out on her.  We need to make her pitiful and pathetic, though, so she has a terrible genetic heart problem, was abused by her mother as a child and now walks with a limp, and was almost raped by her foster brothers.  Lucky for her her two (loaded) step siblings found out about her and rescued her to put her through law school, even though she’s on the verge of death for almost the entire book.  I LOVE melodrama :-)

Rodrigo is an undercover DEA agent on the same case, although neither of them know it.  He is in love with his ex-partner, who is recently married.  Life sucks, eh?  And marries Glory because he can’t have Sabrina.  Complications and badly described action scenes abound, but I love it.  And of course they end up together in the end.  Oh, sorry - did I ruin the ending for you? *smirks*

You will never get anything from Palmer’s books except pure emotion, melodrama, and warm-fluffy-bunny feelings (after you get over the "What an asshole" feelings).  Predictable escapism at its mediocre best!  Ha.

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How Can I Forgive You?: The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To

Janis A. Spring

Genre: Self-Help/Relationships
Finished: July 2008

If anyone has ever seen my bookshelves, you will know about my obsession with trash romance and self-help books.  Some are really horrible, others blow your mind, and some just give you that warm, fluffy bunny feeling that occasionally makes you want to puke.  

Dr. Spring is most famous for her previous book, After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful.  This book, How Can I Forgive You?, is written in much the same vein, written mainly for women who have been cheated on by their husbands, but she expands a bit, making the message available to all relationships; among them are parent to child, husband to wife, friend to friend, in-law parent to in-law child.  I picked this up because of  situations in my own life where I feel like I need to forgive people and can’t, and what I really like is that I don’t have to -as long as it’s for the right reasons.  

The book is laid out in four segments: Cheap Forgiveness, Refusing to Forgive, Acceptance, and Genuine Forgiveness.  The first two are very short, as they show little thought in them, and can be damaging to both sides, whether you forgive too easily or refuse to forgive at all.  Acceptance means that you learn to understand what happened in the situation, especially from the other party’s point of view, but that you don’t have to agree with it or forgive it.  Forgiveness is a two-way street, as Dr. Spring explains in the Genuine Forgiveness section.  Both sides need to take part in it.  

What is unique about this particular book, is that the author does not subscribe to the philosophy that to be a good person or to lighten your heart or to improve your health, you must forgive all the wrongs done to you.  She explains that many philosophies and self-help books have been written along that path, and many times it just leads to internal tension that can snap, so she leads you down an alternate path that helps you to make peace with the situation, if not the other party.  

Also unique is that it includes a section on asking for forgiveness and acting upon that notion if you are the one who did wrong.  The author makes the point time after time that in any set of circumstances, no one is entirely blameless.  She actively encourages the reader to search out their own fault in the situation, because even if they would like to think that they are completely innocent of any wrong-doing, often-times they are not.  

This is a moderate read, and tends to get a bit repetitive (as self-help books often do), so you might wish to get a feel for the sections, and then just read what pertains to you, but for a good understanding and a different viewpoint on fault and forgiveness, the book is a good read.  

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I was just reading the March 2008 Ladies Home Journal (I’m behind and lame, what can I say) and there was an article in the My Life as a Mom section by Marion Winik called “Can You Hear Me Now?” about equipping teenage children with cell phones.  It really ticked me off, ot because she advocates cell phones for teens to make sure they are still alive, even if they sound like “zombies” on the phone, but because she simply accepted it as the new way when her son tells her there must be a “black hole” for service at the track or can’t tell you what address he’s at when he’s at a friend’s.  

How is this acceptable?  Tell your kid to tell you where he is, or you’ll take the phone away, or he’ll be grounded, or some other vile threat that will make him do what you want him to.  I understand that age 16 is the time when kids start to spread their wings, yada yada.  But this woman says that having cell phone GPS is like reading their diaries or (*gasp*) their blogs.  I about hit the roof.  When did teenagers get the right to privacy?  Kids who are assured complete privacy know that they can say one thing and do another.  I see it (and hear it) on a daily basis when school’s in session.  My students don’t seem to get that even if they are huddled in a circle that if they don’t speak quietly I can still hear them, so I get all the dirty little secrets that Mom and Dad don’t know about.  

From my kids, I expect it.  It’s obvious not many of them have anyone paying attention to them at all, let alone worrying about invading their privacy, so I don’t expect much there (talk about banging your head against a brick wall), but from a helicopter mom in LHJ who will probably be filling out her son’s job applications when he’s 30 and sitting next to him in the interview?  Plain stupidity.  Too many of these middle to upper-middle class kids find all kinds of trouble that Mom and Dad don’t have any ideas about until they have to bail their kids out of jail, and all because the parent accepted the explanation that “the track doesn’t have cell phone service.”  

Oh, yeah.  Read your kid’s damn blogs - they’re public to everyone else, why should they be private from you?  And know your kid well enough to know WHEN you NEED to read their diary.  Teachers have been taking the slack - “Why didn’t you notice that this kid said something dark in one assignment back in January in the midst of 160 other assignments?”  “Why didn’t you notice that this kid was cutting himself?”  “Why didn’t you tell someone that this kid did a project on a serial killer?”  Well, I ask - where was Mom and Dad and why don’t they know where their kid is?  

*stepping off the soapbox now*

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You know, I spent almost every day since last September waiting for summer vacation, and now that it's almost over, I can't wait to go back to work.  How weird is that?  I mean, I still have 2.5 weeks left, but I'm already starting to plan and think about work.  I was thinking about how my last job working for the DOT didn't make me think about it when I went home.  I can't get this job out of my head.  Does that make me lucky, or dumb?  :-)

So over my vacation, I went on a 3 week road trip up north, I've been running, and I haven't done much of anything as far as all the organizing I'm supposed to have done.  Oops.  Well, I guess I know how I'll be spending the rest of it.  :-)

Heading out to the park now, and then we'll get that paper written for my last grad class this summer, and then we'll be moving on to organizing the craft table (*shudders*).

Craft table

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Picture 1

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I am counting down the days.  Thursday was one of those days that 20 years from now I am going to recount it and laugh as a foible from my first year of teaching, but I really lost it. 

It's funny how the worst class at the start is your favourite class by the end, and that you hate you favourite class and can't wit to see them walk out the door, knowing - dreading - that you will see them again next year.  So my favourite class turned "I-hate-you-all" class is 3rd period.  A bunch of delinquent ninth graders, of which no less than 5 have been arrested this year. 

We were beginning to watch a movie.  They've just finished reading excerpts from "The Odyssey" and I was going to show the movie - assignment-free - for 4 days so they could have a picture and review before the test.  The movie hadn't been running 10 minutes when the power goes out in the portable.  I send a good kind over to a few of the other portables to see if they have power, and when they do, send him out to get maintenance.  When the maintenance guys get there, they tell me someone pulled the switch on the circuit breaker.  I look at the 2 sitting right next to it that it could have been. 

They both deny, and since I had already started them on questions in the book because the power was out, I told them all to continue working.  Two boys on the other side of the room begin laughing.  Not laughing because something is funny, but laughing because it was disruptive and loud.  When I threatened them with removal, they began farting; a time-honoured way to guarantee a disruption and attention.  Next, the two boys I stared down next to the breaker switch start loudly complaining that they have to do work instead of watching a movie.  I tell them and the rest of the class that because they cannot handle the simple task of watching a movie, they will have to take the test without it. 

Then my little thug starts talking to the kid next to him about how he's taking 4/20 off, getting high that afternoon, "Sure, I know where you can get whip-its," and then when I stand over him telling him that kind of conversation isn't welcome in my class, he says, "Miss you know what they be?"  (The English teacher in me shuddered.)  But when I restated, he told me that "it was his constitutional right to say whatever I want," to which I replied, "It isn't your constitutional right to disrupt my classroom with talk about illegal activities."

His retort: "Miss, some kids throw chairs at teachers......I'm just talking."

I stopped and looked at him, and I must say that I've felt a bit intimidated by students who were mad and larger than me, but this kid was threatening.  So I asked him point-blank, "Are you threatening me?"

"I'm just sayin', Miss."

Can you see this in your head?  It's all grainy and black and white?  Okay, not really.  In fact, I doubt this will be the only time I come up against threats I can't prove, but there it is.  I wrote him up, and hopefully won't have to see him for a few days. 

Friday came, and my AP told me that I had a few presents in my mailbox, so I go look.  BOTH farters, BOTH kids who I suspected could have flipped the breaker switch, AND the kid who left w/o permission to go to the restroom: 3 days OSS.  Thank You, GOD!  And Mr. AP.  Thank you, too.  Now that I know I've gotten rid of them, I may show the movie anyhow.

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I've had a lovely Spring Break, and didn't get to a single thing that I meant to for the kids tomorrow.  Eeek!  I'll be spending a few hours preparing and grading papers tonight.  And of course, I have my own schoolwork to manage, as well.  I can't wait to be finally finished with my own degree...just one more year to go, although this summer, I have some work to do.

The "internship paperwork is due in about 6 weeks, and I need to take my FTCE professional exam, as well as my English certification exam before I take care of that.  It has been another lousy semester, and I think I am turning into a very poor student when I used to be a great one!  I fully expect to get a C in my "bird course" because the professor doesn't know how to test, and I laugh because faculty at the university don't take the classes that high school teachers must, and write the most horrible exams!  Now that I know how they are supposed to be written, it is glaringly obvious when they are done incorrectly. 

So tomorrow, I'll be doing introductory activities for Pirates! with my reading classes, reviewing for the Of Mice and Men exam with my 11th graders, and reviewing what we've already read and continuing reading of The Odessey with my 9th graders.  I can't wait to finish up with Odysseus and move on to poor Juliet and Romeo...I'm afraid I won't have enough time to finish!  I'll make it work, though.  The problem is that I don't have students who are advanced enough to give them a book and give them reading homework.  Number one, they have been trained throughout their years in school that they do not have to do homework, so I rarely get anything back, and they don't even pay attention and remember when the answers are pretty much handed to them on a plate, so...I don't really know how to handle them.

I finally realised that part of my issue is I cannot correct my missteps in teaching until the following year.  I'm afraid I won't remember, so I am going to try to do a better job of reviewing my own progress for use the next years.

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I am 8 months into my first year of teaching with 2 more to go.  Spring Break is next week.  On both counts, all I can say is "hurry up!"

I am so tired I can't sleep.  I am so frustrated with my students' lack of motivation, manners, and responsibility that I only tell them to "fail quietly" if they complain about having to do something (meaning when they see the "F" on their report card, I don't want them to ask me how they got it).  I have given in on my first bit of pressure to change a grade rather than stand by my original assessment only because I don't have the energy.

To top it all off, I am surrounded by such negative energy from all of the people I work with (and with good reason, but...) that I am having a difficult time seeing the positives and optimism, if there are indeed any to be found.

Maybe I'll feel better after Spring Break.

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So, here's the run-down I've been dealing with:

1. Teacher/student sex scandal at school involving the teacher buying alcohol for multiple students
2. Fight during lunch involving one of my students
3. One student being arrested (I know, my reaction was, "Only one?" too!)
4. A student being stabbed by a knife in the culinary arts classroom
5. A 9th grade class unable to manage safety scissors with any sort of responsibility
6. a 9th grade student throwing a temper tantrum on the floor like a 2-year-old, on his stomach, kicking and banging the floor with his fists
7. Students who flip out because they have an unexcused absence that affects their exam exemptions that they "NEED to change right now!"
8. Students who don't do anything all semester and the wonder why they got an F
9. Students who have been suspended for weeks at a time, and wonder why they have an F
10. Students who flip out because they got a B and they think they deserve an A

(did I mention I HATE report card day?)

Welcome to my world.  Watch the news; it's Friday so my school will be there.

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